Trapped in Loneliness
by Mokuba-chan
Summary: Fic in Anzu's POV; Anzu's friends have started to ignore her and pay attention to other things, leaving her to be alone and depressed...And she thinks might have a crush on Seto. (maybe AnzuSeto) CH5 UP! A moment to Remember!
1. The ones I call Friends

Trapped in Loneliness  
  
Chapter 1: The ones I call Friends  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
Yay! I'm finally able to post fics again ^^ (I finally got Microsoft Word!!)  
  
I'm going to try to stick Seto in this fic...But I'm not sure yet (What? A fic just isn't a fic without Seto!)  
  
Fic is in Anzu's POV.  
  
~  
  
I can't believe I actually thought they were my friends. I should have stayed away from them after that 'event' occurred that hurt my feelings greatly. But I didn't. I came crawling back, like a helpless child. Sometimes I disgust myself. I came back to them because I was afraid. I'm afraid to sit by myself at lunch again, to look like a loser...To be alone. I stay with them, even if I don't want to. They treat me badly at times...It makes me feel worthless.  
  
What they did to me awhile back, made me to think twice before trusting someone. After I became friends with Jounouchi, Otogi, Honda and Yuugi again, I began to trust a bit. As days went by, I trusted them more and more...but that was a mistake. Well, it kinda wasn't really, but when your feelings are hurt badly from someone....trusting them seems like a mistake  
  
....Bakura is also my friend, but we don't hang out much.  
  
Chapter 1: The ones I call Friends  
  
The bell rings. I exit the classroom I am currently in.  
  
I'm at school and it is lunch time. I'm so happy to get a break from working, even know I barely put an effort into my work now. I am constantly thinking about my fears and worries during class...But I don't need to worry about that right now, I have other things to worry.  
  
Before I go to lunch, I have to put away my books in my locker. After I open my locker, I turn my head to see if Yuugi or the others are waiting for me behind me. When I look, they aren't there. They must have gone to the lunch room without me. There have been times where Yuugi and Jounouchi would wait for me...but that is only at times. Yuugi is the one that mostly waits for me by my locker...but that doesn't mean he does it a lot, it doesn't happen too often, but he does it...rarely.  
  
I start walking down the halls that will eventually lead to the lunch room.  
  
I don't really mind having to walk to lunch alone....At least I think I do. Its just, when I am walking to lunch, I see my classmates, and other people I don't know, walking to lunch together--obviously the ones who are walking together are friends. When I see them I wonder why my friends don't want to wait for me. It would be nice to walk to lunch everyday with my friends...Or the ones I so-call friends.  
  
Maybe something will happen at lunch today when I sit with the ones I call friends. Some days I don't talk much. We just sit there and say nothing... I don't have much to talk about, well actually I do. Even know I have a lot to talk about, I never bring up a conversation much anymore. I just listen to the other's conversations when they start one. I always have so much to talk about...one could think that I am a very social person, but I am not. To say the truth, I am an anti-social person, I'm very quiet. I don't bring up topics to talk about anymore because am afraid to talk.  
  
Whenever I talk, all of them will listen...I think there are all listening anyway. If I am still talking after ten seconds, Otogi will start to look up at the ceiling, and then look back down then Jounouchi will start facing me and roll his eyes. Honda will then start to move his head back in forth, like he is humming something...Maybe he is trying to block out what I am saying?  
  
After witnessing all of that I would then ask them if they are paying attention to what I am saying, and then Jounouchi will just laugh for a few seconds and reply 'no.'  
  
How I hate them.  
  
So, that is why I don't talk much anymore. No one listens, not even my once- closest friend, Yuugi. He just pretends to look like he cares. I bet he thinks I don't know that he is pretending to care about me...he is wrong. I can tell when I am being ignored...even shunned.  
  
Pretty much I talk to Yuugi and Otogi mostly. Even know Otogi is a bigger jerk to me than Yuugi, I still talk to him...I do that because I still think of him as a friend...I am so foolish to think that. It's like I keep coming back to him to get a 'beating.' I am so stupid. I don't talk to Jounouchi since I don't like him that much anymore. He tends to make fun of me whenever I speak to him.  
  
Then there is Honda. Whenever I am talking, if I mis-pronounce a word, which is on mostly on accident, or if he claims I said an improper sentence, when I didn't, he will correct me....  
  
I talk to all of them rarely. We use to all be such close friends, now I am blocked out of the group. We use to wait at each other's locker when lunch came. We would walk to lunch together and any classes we had together we would go together. It looks like they don't want to be my friend anymore.  
  
I think I suffer from depression. I never thought that it could happen to me, but it did.  
  
When I finish my train of thought, I realize I am standing at the entrance of the lunch room.  
  
"I think too much." I whisper to myself.  
  
As I arrive at the table I sit with my friends. I greet them--I try my best to be polite, but if I ever get offended, I will 'explode.' I take a seat next to Yuugi, as I usually do. Honda greets me as I relax in my seat. I always greet my friends in the morning and at lunch. There aren't too many times where they greet me or greet me in return so it was pleasant to hear Honda great me.  
  
Yuugi is a pretty good friend...at times.  
  
"Anzu...Hello...Anzu!" Otogi raises his voice to get my attention.  
  
"Huh? What?!" I look both ways and figure out in an instant that I was thinking about my past and current problems again.  
  
"I finally got your attention, dammit!" Otogi takes a bite out of his sandwich. "What was your score on the math quiz?" He asks me.  
  
"I got a C...I barely passed!" I say. My friends could tell that I was proud of my self for barely passing the quiz. They know I never study for quizzes and tests...but they never know why.  
  
"What did you get, Otogi?" I then asked.  
  
"Oh I didn't pass." He laughed. "I don't give a shit either."  
  
"Jeez, you use to not cuss, but now you do." Jounouchi chuckled. "I bet it is because I keep cussing around you and at you."  
  
"Probably." Otogi continued to eat.  
  
"Do you guys remember last week's dance? It was so awesome." Honda faced to his guy friends.  
  
"How could I forget? Mai and I had many mouth to mouth moments!" Jounouchi showed a grin to his friends.  
  
"Yeah well Shizuka and I had our own special moment too." Otogi smiled evilly.  
  
"You didn't!" The blonde grabbed Otogi's shirt and pulled him toward him. Otogi could see anger in his eyes.  
  
"Hey! Hey! I was only kidding!" The dice maniac waved his arms up and down franticly.  
  
"You better be." Jounouchi regained his calm state and took a seat.  
  
"Miho and I were the best couple there!" The brown-haired friend of Jounouchi stood up with his fist in the air.  
  
"My girlfriend Isis and I were so the best!" Yuugi jumped up.  
  
As Yuugi finished that sentence I felt a lump in my throat. My heart began to pound hard. Ah yes, Yuugi's girlfriend. He got one, just like the other boys. I use to have a crush on Yuugi, no, I use to love him. I hear that he use to love me too. If that's the truth then if I told him how I felt months ago, before he got his girlfriend, I would have been his girlfriend and I wouldn't be ignored in the group. I would have been wanted in the group and I wouldn't be depressed anymore. Too bad it didn't end up that way.  
  
I don't think Yuugi likes Isis as a girlfriend. They seem too distant, kinda. I wonder if Yuugi only became Isis' boyfriend just to impress the guys. One can only wonder...  
  
"Mai and I were the best couple." Grinning again, Jounouchi flashed his white teeth.  
  
"Mai doesn't even go to this school, and same with Shizuka. At least I am going out with someone my age." The boyfriend of Miho, Honda spoke out. "...So that means we're the best couple." He laughed.  
  
Last week was the last and best school dance of the year. I didn't attend it because I didn't have a date to go with. No one asked me out. Watching my friends fight about who was the best at the dance really hurt me. It didn't hurt me because they are fighting...It hurt because I wasn't there. I don't think they even care that I didn't show up. They only care about their girlfriends that they got a couple of months ago...which is how the 'event' occurred.  
  
The rest of the day I drew random pictures in my notebook and day dreamed. I barely listened to anything the teachers were talking about.  
  
***  
  
My mother picks me up from school at the end of the day. I am happy that I finally get to go home.  
  
"How was you day?" She asks me.  
  
"It was bad as usual. I don't like school." I replied.  
  
"You are just saying it's bad because you don't want to learn." My mom smiles at me, I show a fake 'how-did-you-know' smile back.  
  
There are times when I go to school it isn't such a bad day. I think those are good days. Good days are like when the day is easy and I feel wanted in my group of friends. I say that I don't like school because I don't want to learn and that it is boring [as a cover-up.] Mother thinks that that's what I mean by a 'bad day'...but I am lying to her. That is not the truth. I do not dare to tell her that I feel, no, am unwanted among my friends, not needed. I don't want her to know I am depressed, that I feel lonely. So I lie. It's best this way. I am too afraid to tell her what pain I am going through anyway.  
  
When we finally arrive home I go to my room and stay in there. I tell my parents I am studying and I can't be disturbed; but I am lying again. For the rest of the day I spend my time crying silently on my bed reminding myself what a loser I have become.  
  
~  
  
r&r 


	2. The 'Event'

Trapped in Loneliness  
  
Chapter 2: The 'Event'  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh  
  
Ah, chapter two. I think that this chapter didn't turn out well. No worries, chapter 3 will be better!  
  
Thanks for all the reviews you guys! I took the time to answer questions that were asked, so if I missed yours, please say so and I will answer it!  
  
Crud bucket: I am aware that Isis is older than him, but I don't care. This is an angst fic so it is expected to have some OOC. Plus, if people can write fics about Kaiba being gay, then I'm sure as hell I am able to make Yuugi mean :)   
  
Sailor Tiamat: Anzu is a strong-willed person. Though, when you [general you, not pointing to you directly] are depressed, you can lose a lot of confidence and will power and such and such.   
  
Baka Muyou: I'm not sure if I will have Kaiba and Anzu go together or not in this fic. I feel that it would kinda ruin this fic if I had Anzu fall in love and all her problems are solved or that Kaiba tries to help her and stuff. I don't really want to have this fic turned into something like that. Seto will be in this fic for sure. You can count on that, but I don't know if I will have him and Anzu a couple or not. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. You can keep reading this fic to find out ^^   
  
~  
  
I loved my life. It was so wonderful. No, I didn't love life because I was rich. I had my friends and family--Two things I cared deeply about, and two things that made me enjoy everyday of life. My parents were, and still are always busy with work though. I barely ever see them, but that didn't matter. When my parents did come home from business trips, I cherished every moment with them before; because I loved my mother and father. I also loved spending every day with my friends. I cared for them more than I cared about dancing--And that was pretty surprising to some people I know.  
  
When I had Yuugi, Jounouchi, Honda and Otogi as my friends, I didn't know what life would be like without them. I always thought about that same thing many times. I guess I know how it is now.  
  
Chapter 2: The 'Event'  
  
I try not to remember the day Yuugi and the others forgot about me, I really do. I do this to avoid breaking down like I did in the past. However, I feel very depressed and I feel the need to cry, to let it all out so I don't feel so sad at school.  
  
I remember that fateful day like it was yesterday....  
  
That day Yuugi, Honda, Otogi, Jounouchi and I went to the mall. We use to go to the mall every weekend...If we weren't studying that is. When I had arrived at the main front door of the mall, I was greeted by all my friends.  
  
"Hi Anzu." Yuugi greeted me first, as most of the time.  
  
"Hey Anzu." Otogi and Honda said at the same time.  
  
"Finally you're here Anzu. Now we can finally go inside." The one and only, Jounouchi roll his eyes and stuffs his hands in his pockets. Typical of him.  
  
After he said that I walked up to him and pulled on his right ear. He jumped in pain and the rest of us laugh. I knew Jounouchi was only kidding when he said that, he knew that I was kidding too.  
  
"Come on everyone, I hear they have this new arcade open!" Honda called out to Yuugi, Jounouchi and I.  
  
I followed my friends. I couldn't wait to play at the arcade. I use to think video games were so much fun.  
  
*****  
  
"I know can win...I know I can win....I know I can--AGH!" I remember saying something like that while playing an arcade game, then losing and then hitting the controls in anger.  
  
"Good try Anzu." My childhood friend, Yuugi, smiled at me.  
  
"Thanks, Yuugi." I replied back to him.  
  
"Mm." He nodded in reply. "Jounouchi lets go get some more change for the games."  
  
"Uh okay Yuugi..." Yuugi Ditched the game he was about to play. I watched them walk away.  
  
I kept watching them walk off until a loud voice yelled out in an excited tone. Because I was spaced out, I jumped in surprise from the noise.  
  
"Scared you, didn't I?" Laughed Otogi.  
  
After Jounouchi and Yuugi returned, we decided to go eat. Just like every time we ate out together we had a blast.  
  
When we were done eating it was time to go....  
  
"Okay everyone....If anyone needs to use the bathroom, do it now." One of my now ex-best friend's, Honda said. "The bus won't wait for us if one of us is still in here."  
  
"In that case I'll go use it right now." I started walking to the restroom area.  
  
"We'll be waiting for you, Anzu." Yuugi spoke out in a low voice, but still hear-able.  
  
"If the bus comes and you are not out yet I'll drop my spare change to buy some time for you! And I mean it!"  
  
While walking I laughed. I knew that is Jounouchi who said that. He is the only one who says things like that.  
  
...And here was the beginning of my depressing life....  
  
After I finished using the bathroom I washed my hands and walked out. As I started to walk Yuugi came into my mind. I recall thinking that I loved him a lot—Not that I do anymore...At least I don't think so.  
  
When I went back to the spot we were all supposed to meet...They were gone. At that moment I looked at the glass door exits where we were going to go and I saw the bus—and people boarding on it. I rushed over to there.  
  
When I saw Yuugi and the others, I saw them with other people—girls. I saw Miho from school, Shizuka, Jounouchi's sister and two other girls that I couldn't see. I saw them laughing together—maybe from a joke someone told at that time?  
  
...Or maybe at me.  
  
I had just watched them board together on the bus; I didn't follow to try to catch the bus. I just watched.  
  
It was heartbreaking to see them leave together...Forgetting about me.  
  
...And that was the day they started to forget about me.  
  
*******  
  
"Anzu! Get ready for school!" I heard my mother call as I snapped out of my thoughts.  
  
"Alright!" I call back.  
  
...But...That's not the end of the story...  
  
After I saw them leave without telling me. I was upset. But that sadness turned into anger. When I ran out of the mall, I followed the bus my 'friends' took. When a minute had gone by I lost track of the bus. I didn't speak to them for the rest of the weekend.  
  
When Monday came, I decided that I would talk to them then. So I did, at lunch. The conversation went somewhat like this...  
  
"Hey Anzu." Yuugi greeted me as I set my food down at the lunch table.  
  
"I can't believe you guys." I had said in a cold, ruthless voice.  
  
"What?" The dumbass, Jounouchi asked.  
  
"You guys left me at the mall! Don't you assholes remember?!" I remember back then I use to be such a strong-willed person. I wish I still was. Yet, with my depression I lost a lot of my self-confidence so I'm not a strong person as I use to be. I really wish I still was.  
  
"Oh. Well we met Miho and her friends at the mall." Honda responded. "She introduced us to them and we all ended up pairing up and going to the movies."  
  
"Yeah with all the excitement we kinda forgot about you, Anzu." While chewing his food, Jounouchi spoke. How rude could he had gotten?  
  
Yuugi wasn't even talking. I think he was trying to avoid talking to me. What a bastard.  
  
"Look Anzu. Don't take it so personally." Dice-boy [Otogi] cleaned his ear. "We met some girls that we liked, so we took the opportunity to get them. Don't be so mad."  
  
"You forgot about me! I am taking it personally! How dare you all!" I had continued to yell at them. "I thought we were friends! Friends don't do that to each other!"  
  
"Shut up." Otogi replied. "I'm sick of your bitching and I bet everyone else is too."  
  
"Yuugi! Why did you leave me?!" I turned to him. He would be the one to stick up for me, I thought at the time.  
  
He didn't say anything in return. He just shrugged it off.  
  
"I'll be back." Was all I could say. I had gone to the bathroom to cool off. When I had come back, they were gone.  
  
They had ditched me.  
  
******************  
  
I haven't spoken to them that often since. I do sit with them at lunch, but I try my best to stay quiet. Though, whenever they come to talk to me between classes I would only nod, say "mm," say yes or say a sentence. My throat starts to hurt whenever they are near me.  
  
If they stopped doing things to me such as rude comments, sarcasm, ignoring me, ditching me and making fun of me...Maybe things would be back to normal.  
  
My mother walks in my room, breaking my concentration from my thoughts.  
  
"Anzu, are you ready?" She asked me.  
  
I nod. "I'll be going now."  
  
I left the house. I am on my way to school...On my way to another day of hell.  
  
To Be Continued  
  
~  
  
Chapter 3 is going to be better than this chapter, trust me. Seto is going to be introduced in the next chapter! Don't miss it!!  
  
R&r 


	3. Cards and Kaiba Seto

Trapped in Loneliness  
  
Chapter 3: Cards and Kaiba Seto  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YGO.  
  
I have to be candid and say that I rushed to get this chapter out. I think my laptop might have a virus, which is why I did.  
  
ALSO! I want to say that this is the one fic I've actually been able to pour my heart into it while writing it. I won't explain why at the moment, but I might later.  
  
Thanks for all the reviews!!  
  
School sucks. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Wait. What's that over there?  
  
I stop walking and turn to see the shop I just passed by. It's a card shop. And everyone knows that card shops = Duel Monster cards.  
  
I decide to go in.  
  
Maybe it's time I started to play Duel Monsters more often. It looks fun, plus I could be known as the best player. I could duel and beat Yuugi, Jounouchi, Otogi and even Kaiba! How fun it would be to be known as the best. But...I can't be that way because I'm no good. I have no skill. So there is no point.  
  
I'll just buy one pack any way. I enjoy trying to get good cards.  
  
After I pay for the pack I pick out, I quickly leave the shop to go to school.  
  
I'm about to fall asleep in class. It is so damn boring.  
  
I still haven't opened my Duel Monster pack. I barely made it in time for class so I didn't have a chance to open it. I'll open it during break. Yeah, I will.  
  
I wonder what is inside...Maybe there is a card that is very rare and one of a kind that I could sell for millions. I could become rich if that were to happen. I could then buy anything I wanted....Just like Kaiba Seto.  
  
I turn to face the back of the classroom. Surprisingly, Kaiba is actually attending class for once. I bet he's very happy to be one of the best duelists and be rich. But he was beaten by Yuugi...So he isn't the champion anymore. He is probably mad that he is no longer the best. If I was him, I would.  
  
Next time both of them duel I hope Kaiba beats Yuugi. It would make me happy to see Yuugi lose.  
  
Suddenly everyone starts to get out of their seats. It is break. Now I can finally open my pack!  
  
Before I reach down in my back pack to get it, I make sure no one is watching me. The coast is clear. I do not want to draw attention and let my 'friends' know what I am doing. Good thing they are busy talking to each other and Miho.  
  
I bring the pack up to my desk. I look at the cover. The Black Magician Girl Duel Monster is on the front of the pack. What an awesome Duel Monster. I hope I get a card of her. She is so cool. I bet everyone likes her. She's so lucky...  
  
I am about to pick up the pack but a hand beats me to it.  
  
"What's this?" A voice asks.  
  
I look up. It is a group of girls.  
  
"I didn't know you were into this kind of stuff." She glances at the pack, then looks back at me.  
  
"...." I don't say a word.  
  
"I can't believe you spend your time on this kind of crap!" She continues to rant on and on. What a bitch.  
  
I still don't speak. I don't think I need to. I know this girl and her group are bad news. They think they are the best just because they have good looks.  
  
"Hey! Mazaki! Why won't you respond?!"  
  
Keep quiet Anzu, keep quiet.  
  
"Fine, whatever." Those were the last words that came out of her mouth before she did the unbelievable.  
  
She threw my pack on the floor. How dare her.  
  
She and her friends walk away. I don't do anything to them. I am too busy diving on the floor for my pack. I don't want to lose it.  
  
To make things worse, it landed in the one spot I didn't want it to land; under Kaiba Seto's desk. It wouldn't have been a problem if Kaiba wasn't there, but he is. He is and I can't do anything about it but just sneak over and grab it and run off.  
  
I crawl over to his desk. His seat is only two seats behind mine, so I am not noticed by my classmates. The pack is right next to his foot. I can get it, I know I can. I am confident that I can get it. I reach for it but the foot right next to the pack moves and is put on top of my pack.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" I heard a voice. Obviously it was Kaiba's. Who else would have a voice as frightening as his?  
  
Being the idiot I am, as soon as I hear his voice, I jump up from being surprised and hit my head under the desk.  
  
"Ow!" I yell in a whisper while I stand up.  
  
"Well?" Kaiba asked.  
  
"......" Here I go again. My throat begins to feel like a lump is in it. I'm afraid to speak. I don't want to speak. I don't want to.  
  
"Keeping quiet will not help in any way." He gives me a glare. I can tell he is angry since I won't speak.  
  
I watch him bend down and pick up my pack of cards.  
  
"These yours?" He asks.  
  
I can only manage a nod. He hands it to me and I whisper a 'thank you.'  
  
"I bet you will only get average cards." He tells me quietly as he takes his seat.  
  
I can tell he is eager to see what is in my pack—being the Duel Monsters fan he is. However, he looks calm. I think he doesn't want to show that he cares about my pack. Sometimes I wonder why he is always angry.  
  
I turn to face the side; I want to open my pack near him. He talked to me; even know he wasn't being nice. Still, I'll let him see what I get out of my pack.  
  
So I opened my pack.  
  
I look at each card slowly. It turns out I pulled out a rare card! It is called 'Wingweaver.' An attack of 2750! I can't believe it. Even cooler, it is a fairy card. This is the best card I have ever gotten! I feel happy...But within seconds, the happiness fads away to sadness.  
  
I am alone.  
  
I look over to Kaiba. He is now reading one of his books. I decide to play dumb and ask him if any of the cards I got in my pack are worth while. I hope he will answer when I ask him.  
  
I step closer to his desk.  
  
"Kaiba..." I whisper.  
  
His eyes shift to face me. I don't know what to say next.  
  
"Yes?" He asked in an annoyed tone.  
  
He answered. Kaiba Seto answered. Is he being polite by answering or does he really care about me?  
  
What the hell am I thinking? Of course he was just being polite. He isn't the kind of person to just ignore people. Kaiba will let you know straight forward that he doesn't want to talk to you, or does.  
  
"...." I can't speak. Damn it.  
  
"You can go now. I'm not interested in talking to you." He speaks.  
  
Looks like I was right about him being straight forward.  
  
Before I can stop myself words just start coming out.  
  
"I opened my pack and I don't know if I have any worth while cards so I wanted to ask you to look at them and tell me since you are such a good duelist." What now? Will he help me out or be a jerk?  
  
"Go ask your friends. You're wasting my time."  
  
..And he ends up being a jerk. Doesn't he know that Yuugi and the others hate me? Or has this not gotten out to the school yet? It will get out soon, I just know it...  
  
Wait! I have to be strong! I just have to! Try one more time Anzu! I know you can do it!  
  
Great, now I'm talking to myself. Just great.  
  
"They are busy. Could you just look?" Good, I'm talking again.  
  
"No." Why does he have to be so distant? This guy talked to me and made me feel wanted. I don't know how I felt this way, but I want to talk to someone!  
  
"Oh...Okay..." I walk to my seat in defeat. I was so close to be able to have a conversation with someone. So close...  
  
Time to go to lunch. I don't feel hungry. Why do I always have this empty feeling inside my stomach? Why won't it go away even if I eat a lot?  
  
I have to face Yuugi and the others now. If I just stay quiet like usual I'll be okay.  
  
When I sit down in an empty seat at our table, I can hear Otogi talking about a new video game. Too bad I don't get to talk about the game. I own it and it is easy for me. But they don't care about me so I don't need to waste time by trying to talk to them.  
  
In the same direction I am sitting in, there is another lunch table. I forget who sits there, but I know only one person sits there. Right when I see the young man who always sits there sit there, I remember who it is. It is Kaiba Seto.  
  
I wonder if he ever gets lonely. I wonder if he wants any friends, or even a lover. It looks like he likes to be alone. I don't like to be alone. Not only are you lonely, but you feel empty inside. Maybe he has gotten use to not being social. Or maybe having Mokuba as a friend is all he needs...WAIT!  
  
...Why is he now always on my mind? Do I....like him?  
  
To Be Continued  
  
It's official! This fic does have Anzu/Seto in it.  
  
Read and review please! 


	4. Love or Lust?

Trapped in Loneliness  
  
Chapter 4: Love or Lust?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.  
  
Eh, after awhile I started to think about if I really should have Anzu/Seto in this or not...As I keep writing chapters I'll decide.  
  
-----  
  
All day and night yesterday I thought about Kaiba. I wasn't sure if I liked him or not. As I was getting ready for school today I came to the conclusion that I do like him. Though my heart might be playing tricks on me. I think I'm just lusting after him...Nothing more. But I'm kinda hoping it's more than that...and kinda not. Ever since Yuugi got together with someone, it broke my heart...and he also broke my heart by him and everyone else leaving me...Forgetting about me. A part of me doesn't want me to love or even like Kaiba. Maybe if I started to love him, he would break my heart by rejecting me.  
  
Maybe I don't like him...or maybe I do! Ah forget it...I'll never know the answer to this now.  
  
Crap. I'm doing it again. I shouldn't be thinking this much while walking to school. I could trip over something or get hit by a car. Oh well.  
  
It's because he talked to me that now I think about him. Damn my emotions for thinking this. He only talked to me dammit. That doesn't mean he cares about me.  
  
Screw it. I'll think about this problem later. I'm not in the mood to deal with this stress.  
  
Oh look a card shop that has Duel Monsters' cards on display at the window....It's Yuugi's grandfather's shop...  
  
Yuugi.  
  
I stop walking and stare at the shop that is across the street from me. And then suddenly my emotions start to take over. I can't stop them. I can't move. I can't get myself to stop thinking about everything that hurt me.  
  
Why...Why did he stop being my friend?  
  
What did I do wrong?  
  
Was I a bad friend?  
  
No. Stop, Anzu.  
  
I can feel my body shaking a bit...And my eyes are about to shed tears...About to spill all the pain I still have hidden away. The pain that is never cried out. The one that will never leave. The one I can never get myself to get out.  
  
Dammit. I can't break down. Not here. Not now.  
  
I continue to walk. I take deep breaths to calm myself down. I can get through this...I know I can...I think I can...  
  
Last night I decided on something. I decided I wanted to become the number one duelist in the world.  
  
That way I'll beat Jounouchi and Yuugi. I'll show them I'm worth something. I'll even show Kaiba I'm as good as, no, wait, I'll show him I'm better than him.  
  
I'm sure that will get him to notice me.  
  
I then hear a loud screeching noise and a honk. I stop moving.  
  
It came from a car. A car that is an inch away from me.  
  
I was almost hit.  
  
"Eh, how expected for this to happen." I mumble. "Just like in the movies...A person doesn't pay attention while walking, and is almost hit by a car..."  
  
"Hey! What the hell were you thinking?!" The driver yells as he sticks his head out of his window.  
  
I stare at the floor for a second. I then see a bit of my watch that my sleeve is covering. I pull up the sleeve and look at the time.  
  
It was five till school started! I'm not even near the school yet and I'm going to be late!!  
  
"Sorry! Won't happen again!" I yell to the driver as I run off.  
  
------  
  
Crap. Crap. Crap.  
  
I continue to say in my head as I rush down the school halls. I just need to get to my class and everything will be okay.  
  
Soon enough I finally get to my classroom door and open it. I made it on time.  
  
...Or so I thought.  
  
Right when I open the door I see my teacher standing at the board, staring at me.  
  
I forgot that my watch is ten minutes behind. I am late.  
  
"Why are you tardy, Miss Mazaki?" The teacher asks me.  
  
Now my classmates are staring at me. Everyone.  
  
Even Yuugi.  
  
My anxiety kicks in at that moment. I start to sweat.  
  
"I..." I begin, but the rest of the words won't come out.  
  
I hear some chuckling and giggling from the class. I don't know what to do.  
  
"Take these and step out into the hall for the rest of the class, Miss Mazaki." My teacher hands me two buckets full of water and points her finger to the door.  
  
I step out in defeat and stand against a wall a bit far away from the classroom door.  
  
I did well. I fought back the tears that almost fell. Now I just gotta wait till class ends. I can tell right now this is gonna be a bad day.  
  
...And I didn't see Kaiba in the room when I was in there. Great. Just great.  
  
To Be Continued.  
  
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R&r! 


	5. A moment to Remember

Trapped in Loneliness

Chapter 5: A moment to Remember

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh

All day at school we did tests. With all my stress I forgot to study. Yep, that means I'm gonna fail all my classes. Except for my first class, there was no test in that one.

I am walking to my last class while I am thinking. But you know, that is nothing new so it really doesn't matter.

I've only got PE left for the day and I'm home free. I have to run a mile on the track today though. The rest of the class has to too, but that is pretty obvious.

I don't want to run. I'm always tired from being sad. I just don't have the energy for anything anymore.

Kaiba didn't show up for school today. I wonder why. I didn't think he would not show up on the day we had to do tests. Kinda ironic since he usually tends to not show up on days that are normal.

I arrive at the girl's locker room and dress into my PE uniform. As I walk to the track outside where the class is supposed to meet today I ponder if the teacher will yell at me if I decide to walk instead of run the mile.

I can't believe it. I stop walking.

I see Kaiba. He is here. Now. At school.

I decide to get closer to him because I see that he is talking to our PE teacher. I keep a good distance though. No point in making myself look like I like to listen in on people's conversations.

It looks like they are arguing...

"Listen! I've gotten all my teachers except you to let me take my tests another day. Why is it you won't do the same?!" I hear Kaiba raise his voice louder by the second.

"You don't get any special treatment. Go dress down." I can tell the teacher is enjoying being in control over Kaiba. He is such a control freak.

"My leg was hurt the other day which is why I was not able to come today. I can not run while I am in a bad condition." I hear Kaiba try to keep his voice as low as possible so no one can hear that he had his leg hurt the other day. I don't blame him. If I were him I wouldn't want anyone to hear anything like that about myself.

"I'll let you walk instead of run. Now go dress down." Jeez, this guy is a jerk.

"Would something change your mind? Such as money?" Even while I am staring at Kaiba's back I can imagine him smirking.

But yeah, him trying to bribe someone is something I don't find surprising.

"No thank you. I will give you an F if you don't go dress down right now." This guy is pretty mean...And he's glaring at Kaiba too! Wow, someone is actually standing up to Kaiba! I wish I could stand up to people like I could a long time ago too...

But...What will you do now Kaiba? Will you leave and risk not being able to fix that grade and have it effect your grades or just go do it?

"Fine." I hear Kaiba grunt and then he walks past me and enters in the school.

When he walked by me, I heard him mumble curse words.

At the moment Kaiba comes back everyone lines up and gets ready.

Without my knowing, I end up standing next to Kaiba in the line up. I feel kinda happy that I am able to stand next to him...But not so lucky at the same time. He doesn't really like me since I was Yuugi's friend. But I bet he doesn't know we aren't friends anymore...

I sigh.

"That bastard just wants to control me...." I hear Kaiba mumble.

Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! He won the prize.

I always knew Kaiba was able to find out everything easily. It's like he can read people's minds. That would be kinda cool if he could.

Eh, wait, nevermind.

If he could read minds then he would read everything I thought about. About him...And about Yuugi.

Phew. I'm glad it's not possible to read minds. Or else I would be even more anxious than I already am.

I'm starting to feel anxious again. I think it is because Kaiba is standing next to me.

Come on Anzu....Don't start feeling anxious and sweating over nothing...

He stares at me for a second. It looks like he just found out I'm standing next to him.

Oh lucky me. Just my luck to have to stand next to someone who is glaring at me.

I see Yuugi and Jounouchi. They are in my PE class too. Sadly.

I have to beat them in this mile. I have to finish before them. I just have to. It will be just like a race. I want to show them who is better!

"Four laps around this track is equal to a mile. Keep track of how many times you go around. When you finish, tell me and I will tell you your time." My teacher says to everyone as he gets ready to start timing with his stop watch.

"Go!" He yells.

Wanting to beat Yuugi and Jounouchi gave me energy for some reason. I start running as fast as I can.

But what do you know? I'm still not good enough. Jounouchi bumps into me while he runs past me. I see Yuugi by his side as they both get ahead of me.

I wish I had a friendship like theirs.

Wait a sec! That bastard didn't even say sorry for bumping into me! How dare he!

Grr...I begin to feel pain inside me mentally. But, then that pain turns into anger. And it makes me run faster than ever!

I speed by Jounouchi and Yuugi while they are busy talking to each other about Duel Monsters. I look back at them while I am running and I see the look on their faces. They look shocked. Shocked that I was able to get ahead of them.

To make the moment even better, I flip them off.

That will teach them! Hehe...I'm starting to become a jerk. It's no wonder I suddenly think Kaiba should humiliate Yuugi.

In the corner of my eye I see Jounouchi gaining on me. Crap. It looks like I shouldn't have flipped them off. But you know what? How couldn't I have resisted? They made me feel like shit. But I guess it wasn't the right time to get them back.

He could have passed by me and flipped me off back. He could have cursed at me and continued to go ahead of me. God dammit, he could have even just passed me.

But no, he didn't.

He put his leg in front of mine which caused me to trip. He tripped me.

No, I didn't fall on the concrete and get myself all bloody. I was running near the edge of the track so I tripped right into the grass area, excuse me, the large mud puddle in the grass area.

Great. Just great.

The PE teacher comes up to me while I just sit in the mud. Just sitting there feeling the pain of my wounded pride.

"What the hell is going on?!" He sounds pissed.

Before I can stop myself words blurt out.

"I tripped." I am totally covered in mud. Except for my back side and my face. But my hair and face do have bits of mud on them from the splash...

"Yeah right! I always knew you were trouble ever since you started being quiet!" He is now yelling.

People are staring. I don't want to be noticed. All I wanted was to show Yuugi and Jounouchi I was better than them...Or that I was at least worth something. God, I hope Kaiba is not watching.

"Can I...Go get cleaned up?" I ask, trying to hold back the tears at the same time.

"Trouble makers don't deserve to get away with inappropriate crap. Now keep running!" He points to the track.

Oh goodie. Now people think I'm an insane quiet person who likes to cause trouble. Not that it matters anyway.

I get up and begin to walk on the track. Oh I'll do the damn test to make him shut up...I'll just walk instead of run.

But once again I finish last. I am a loser. Jounouchi knows it. Yuugi knows it. I know it. Everyone knows it.

Yep. I gotta walk around the track four times covered in mud. As if i wasn't an outcast enough.

By the time I finish my second lap, more than half the class is finished running. A female classmate of mine, who was kind enough, brings me a towel she snuck out of the girls locker room for me so I can get as much mud off me as possible.

I get my face, arms, legs, some of my hair and some of my clothes free of mud.

I quietly thank her as she walks away with the towel when I finish using it.

I wish I had a friend to talk to. Someone to ask for advice. Just someone who would tell you everything was gonna be alright.

I just want to talk to someone.

To Be Continued

r&r


End file.
